Classic IRC Quotes A collection of funny or just plain bizarre quotes collected during my Internet Relay Chat years... thanks to all my old #sesh friendz from oz.org :) "PuRpLe crawls through the drug induced veil of fog inside his mind, valiantly striving to connect the last synaptic pathway needed to bring the body ONLINE... dodging a vicious attack from a THC chemical particle, he rolls and comes to a stand at the terminal... 'Access accepted, initialization sequence initiated.' brain and body functioning..." PuRpLe "Legs are nice but they are like best friends... sooner or later they must part!!" BENT "I slit the sheet the sheet I slit and on the slitted sheet I sit." Thunder "May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope." dodg "One of the guys at work rang my number and says "what has a small dick and hangs down" I said.. "I dunno" ... he says "A bat"... Then he says "What has a big dick and hangs up".. I say "I dunno"... he hangs up on me.." Skunk "When men talk sex to women, its sexual harassment... But when women talk sex to men it's $3.95 per minute." Ty_Buddah "Pickup Line: Sex is a killer...want to die happy?" siXPAck "Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6." Justagirl "Madeline eyes the creature from across the room. After the discovery of the planet Lagaria, all the Lagarians had invaded earth and made the people slow at understanding what everyone else was saying. She spent half her childhood waiting for the Lagarians to let go of her and read what everyone else had typed. Now, the ultimate test was at hand. It was her and the Lag-monster of all time. Lagarath. Both species lunge at each other and . . . . ." Madeline "I want a home among the mull trees, and pass a bong please, a joint 4 u and a trip or 2, the olds r in the house and the cops r out the front, all in my back yard." yesgirl "If a bra is an upper topper flopper stopper and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker and big roll of toilet tissue is a super duper pooper scooper, what do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea? A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy!" Axial "The average size of the penis is six inches, and the average size of the vagina is seven inches. This means that there are approximately one hundred thousand kilometers of unused pussy in the world." Psyche "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so go get wasted & have the time of ur life ;)" Azzza "If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?" Jazmine "Roses are red, Violets are green, i love your legs, and what's in between." YoUnGsTeR "Don't ya hate it when one moment ya straight and then ya shitfaced, forgetting the bit in between, damn!" DrDamage "Here's a personal ad found in an actual paper in the USA - Fat, flatuent, over 40, cigar smoking redneck, seeks sexy woman with big hair to cook, clean and pick up unemployment checks." Bottum "ViBeS packs A GiAnT CoNe In the Hydro-BuRninG self igNiting AnTi-bogart Barrel BONG and passes it to Rude, Joker, Tinka, Britta, Psyche, nobody, Azztech, slogic, spice, Chills/bon, Sixpack, Frenchy, mrmojo, Finkel, Scooter, Skunk, Mastancin, Jessi, sLaTeR, DrJ, DrDamage, Justagal, Maryjane, she^devil, mellowman, rochee, weedman, Trace, ^PyRo^, fffred, Cyberzu, AnSeLmO, Cyberjobe, spicette, Reaper, Grim-death, Axial, JeLLybEAn, mase, SAMBUCCA, roudy, blu^tak, Hydrees, ice200, Tequila... oh, and one just fa Z, hey, its just like FaRkiN RoMPeR RooM!!!" Vibes "BeforeYouStartedTokin'YouUsedToHaveABrainButNowYouDontGetEven TheSimplestOfThingsIDrawALittlePictureOrEvenUseMyHandsITryTo ExplainButUJustDontUnderstand" MaryJane "You cant choose your friends but you sure as hell can choose your enemies... choose carefully!" Future_PM "Slater hands Threebent the NeVeRDie HooKaH filled with a vast array of HiPpyPeaCeLoVe&HaPpIneSs majik moohaa mix and watches as they transform into an amazing technicolor rainbow and enter the 9thDimension." Slater "The way I see it the worlds a big piece of shite but ya can still grow some wicked shrooms on it." Quazimodo "Work is an outdated and illogical idea that has gone on for too long and has unfortunately become a tradition." |\|ut-E-1

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