Welcome to Joker's Homepage, where you can find Predators, Aliens, Jokes, Arcade Emulators, Trivia, Useless Data, Downloads... basically everything. 

A Random Jokermercial

Start at the Beginning
Formal Introduction
The Main Event
Old News Archives
Who's this Joker anyway?
Joker's Image Gallery
Feedback / Contact Me

Today's Bill of Fare

The Hunted
What is the Predator's code of honour? Which comics are available? Where's the movie soundtrack? The Hunted contains everything and anything that's Predator-related, along with free downloads (images, audio etc).

Emily Hope
This new addition is a page just for our beautiful baby girl, Emily Hope. There's only a few photos at the moment, but there'll be a lot more to come (if I don't run out of space on my server). And don't worry, she's very cute to see - this won't be one of those boring family slide-show nights!

Shelley & Jesse's Wedding
Do you want to know how to plan and execute a perfect wedding, or are you an incurable romantic? Well even if you're not, have a look at how Shelley and Jesse's Wedding just fell beautifully into place.

Bits and Pieces
The Worst Pick-Up Lines, Linkworld, The Big Questions, Joker Images, Miscellaneous Downloads - there's really no limit to the amount of Bits and Pieces you'll find within this weird and wonderful page.

Alien Host
From the gestation period of a chestburster, to the contents of the U.S. Colonial Marine's armoury... all you need to know about the Aliens trilogy is found in Alien Host... downloads, images and movie info.

Emulation Plus... plus what? Well, in addition to many downloads and links for system emulators (C64, Commodore Amiga and Arcade Machines), there's also plenty of information and help to get you started.

Where the hell is... ?
Joker site: Search
Joker site: Map

powered by

The Fine Details

Thanx, you're visitor

since 4th May 1998 :)

Send me some email if you're bored enough

Or, you can Sign or View my obsolete Guestbook!

Self-proclaimed winner of 'Slowest Site Update Award' and 'Gold Medal Award for Slackness'


Welcome to Joker's Homepage!
Hi everyone! Welcome to Joker's Homepage, alive and kicking since 1996 (give or take a couple years). This page was originally supposed to be a blog-like creation, with updates on personal and family life -- but it's become a bizarre mutation of its former self, and now you'll never know what will appear here next.

Please feel free to peruse the site at your leisure - view the links, download the files, whatever. Just remember to give me some feedback so I can find out how many more improvements the site needs :)

Where was I... Oh yes, an update!  23rd July 2009
First of all, let me say that the reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated. And although I can't say that it's taken two years to perform the obvious updates around here, it has taken a long time to get this domain/business thing off the ground!

I shouldn't have to tell you what's new... a quick glance around the pages might give you a bit of a hint. The biggest change of course is the Joker Designs domain, which basically means I'm for hire! You, too, can have a Joker design for your very own! Check out the Joker Designs main page for more information. Call now, our operators are standing by!

I'll be going through these old pages with a fine tooth-comb and performing more subtle updates where neccessary, so don't be suprised if I make a few more updates within the next few years as well. If you've visited before, it's great to have you back -- and if you're new, hope you like what you see. Either way, spending a minute or so to send me a bit of feedback would be more than appreciated!

Back to the Roots  14th February 2007
It's been so long since I've done a 'just for the sake of it' update, I thought I'd start the new year with one... and over the next couple months, I'll start major updating of the pages in earnest. Until then, this snippet:

Since stumbling across the Matrix Ping Pong and Karate Master video clips, I was curious to find out where they came from... and after much searching, I discovered they're from a Japanese show called Kasou Taishou (full title Kinchan and Katori Shingo's All Japan Costume Grand Prix).

It's hard to describe, but the show is basically Kabuki Theatre (traditional Japanese shadow puppetry) but thoroughly modernised. It airs on Nippon Television a couple of times a year, and has some sort of ranking mechanism activated after each performance that signifies how the competitors scored.

The competition was originally about simple costumes, then people started to add performance elements to display their costumes in action. Now it is more about overall creativity, but always relates to costuming. Have a look!

Kasou Taishou official site - Matrix Ping Pong - My Shadow and I - Pole Jump - Assorted videos

I've been a bad boy, Santa...  22nd December 2006
What can I say... in the past couple of months, I really haven't put the effort into my websites that I should have. Mainly due to family commitments and other domestic things -- and that's not an excuse, it's a fact! :)

But never fear, 2007 is going to be the year for some BIG changes. Not just this site, but for The Hunted, Alien Host and definately the baby girl Emily Hope page, since she's now almost 2!

No time for anything else, I've still got some Christmas shopping to do (it's traditional to leave it until the last week for me) so I hope you, your family, and everyone you know has a fantastic Christmas and excellent New Year. See you in 2007!

"Time time, it's so sublime...  18th August 2006
"...well they say it's non-existant, but it's playing with my mind..." -- Meat Puppets

The brothers Meat Puppets got it right with that song. Time itself (abstract concept or not) seems to rule us to a degree that we miss it like a leg when we run out of it. Gah.

Anyway, here I am with a smallish update, mainly adding another page to the BiTS n PieCeS area (since I don't think I've touched it since I made it), and some general tidying up of other things. Trying to filter out that goddamn spam too, that's a full-time job in itself.

So I'll be back soon... I need to rustle up some new baby (well, toddler) girl photos to add to her page. And perhaps I need some new ones of me, too. And Mrs. Joker. And the rest of the family. And all those other things I haven't done yet. And, and, and...

Kill that Father Time guy.

Happy Invented for Commercial Purposes Day Valentine's day! xxx  14th February 2006
I had every intention of updating sooner, honest. But since it's still just the second month of the year, it's not too late. And it's fitting that it's Valentine's Day, since I just LOVE trying to find the time to update...

Anyways, I'ver been fairly busy on the webpage fronts: constantly updating my biggest project The Hunted, changing some subtle details in Who's this Joker anyway? since it was so out-dated, and next I need to do some updating to our baby girl's page. She's now fully crawling and lifting herself up onto anything stable, so everything had to go up another shelf! It's all good though, wouldn't change a thing.

And so, righto, here I go, cheerio!

We Wish You a Merry New Year and a Happy Christmas! Or something.  22nd December 2005
So it seems like I can only manage to update The Homepage quarterly (that's only four times a year)! Does that mean I'm extremely slack, or lead an extremely boring life? Possibly both - but I'm pretty busy too, so I'll use that excuse.

It's been a fairly enjoyable year, with no major trouble or accidents. In fact there's only Three recent things I need to report, thusly:
  • My little sis Stacey is now a happily married woman! Congratulations to her and Kevin, and all the best and happiness for the future!
  • The baby girl is looking less and less like a baby now, she's almost crawling and is next to fully mobile so the house is quickly becoming crawl-proof...
  • Well, there is no third thing really - but I needed to round it off.
Alrighty then, I'd better get back to the grindstone and finish off the last minute Christmas stuff, ie. the Christmas shopping!

So - Compliments of the Season, Best wishes to You and Yours, Peace on Earth, Goodwill to All, Merry Santa Claus Day, Auld Lang Syne, Happy New Year... and bugger off.

A bit of a rant. Why not.  5th October 2005
I wonder if I set up a PayPal account, anyone would donate their small change to me? Not that I'm particularly broke, but it would sure as hell help pay this slack Service Provider and maybe get them to offer me some decent (and reliable) web space.

Don't get me wrong, I've stuck with Tas Access (iinet) from the start and they've been good, but where's the loyalty... all I'm asking for is some more web-space and a way to actually see how much I've used and got remaining! Gah.

Hope everyone is having a good year, by the way. Busy busy for me, with work and babies and stuff - and speaking of the beautiful baby girl, it must be time to update her little page. Coming right up!

I don't - like - SPAM!!  18th July 2005
Nothing to report this month really... except for the fact that I was so sick of the flood of poker/casino/holdem shite filling up my feedback page that I had to install a different one. I wish spam was limited to Monty Python sketches!

And apart from that, I turned 31 in June. Hooray for me :)

There's a New Kid on the block  20th April 2005
Well, I'm totally out-doing myself now - there is ANOTHER new addition to the Homepage, this time it's a page just for Emily Hope, our beautiful baby girl.

There's only a few photos at the moment, but there'll be a lot more to come (if I don't run out of space on my server). And don't worry, she's very cute to see - this won't become one of theose boring family slide-show nights!

It's a nice day for a white wedding  18th April 2005
See, I told you it'd happen... doubting Thomases! There is now a new addition to the Homepage, namely Shelley and Jesse's Wedding in all its beauty.

So if you want to know how to plan and execute a perfect wedding, or if you're just an incurable romantic, have a look at how a beautiful wedding can just fall into place.

Oh, and stay tuned for the product of our union of souls... a page just for our beautiful baby girl. Coming soon!

Beautiful baby, proud father, relieved mother, happy brothers  4th Feb 2005
The great day finally happened! The lovely little (well not so little, 10lb 1oz thanks-very-much) bundle of joy has arrived, a beautiful baby girl named Emily Hope.

After a quite brief but amazingly well-controlled labour by a beautiful wife and amazing mother, the (currently) mild-mannered little poppet has made a happy family even happier!

There will soon be some photos in the Images section, if not already, but there should be a Wedding and Baby page soon. So stay tuned... we might not be 'The Incredibles', but we're pretty damn good family!

Another year, another couple of updates...  28th Jan 2005
Did everyone have a relaxing Christmas and New Year vacation? You did? Good... now get back to work, like me! Hopefully I won't neglect the site like I have been (well, this part... not Predator: The Hunted) so maybe I can get some more interesting stuff happening on here! Good luck to me...

What, you want to read more? Yesterday
Yeah, this page was getting too long - so I had to put most of it onto an Archived News page.

So, if you want to read the old news, feel free to wander over there and have a look!

All sites made entirely by Jesse Aherne, best viewed at 800x600 or higher. Last updated August 2009
Comments and questions
welcome (even hate mail or bomb threats... they can be pretty entertaining too).